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“I can’t do it right now because I’m not in the right mindset to make any changes.”
Have you ever said this? I know I have.
That is the number one thing I hear when people say they can’t make changes, is they lack motivation or that they aren’t in the right mindset to do so. Which is pretty much the same thing.
This is true across the board for making any changes in their lives, whether it be their health, their weight, exercising, their job, starting a business, their relationship, etc.
Basically, any and every kind of change.
Here is the thing: You will never be in the right mindset unless you take the steps to make changes.
And I want to show you the first and most important step to set you up for your mindset shift.
Get Into the Right Mindset to Make Changes!
You can’t ever shift your mindset unless you make a change.
Nothing is going to come along and magically change your mindset without you doing anything different.
It’s a horrible truth, but it is how our brains work.
If you don’t start making changes to change your mindset, next thing you know, 20 years is going to go by, and you still haven’t done what you originally wanted to do, because you are still waiting to get into that right mindset.
How much sense is that going to make then?
If Not Now, Then When?
I know people who said they wanted to “lose these last 10 pounds” 30 years ago and every day since. And they still haven’t done it because they say they haven’t gotten into the right mindset.
And that is why it is so important to start doing things to get into the right mindset. Because that much time shouldn’t be going by with no action.
The Secret to Getting to That Right Mindset
The main thing you need to do to get into the right mindset is to make sure you are around people who are in the right mindset, or are active towards being in the right mindset, for the area you are wanting to change.
If you don’t do this, you are going to be:
- less motivated
- hold yourself back
- second guess yourself
- the chances that you don’t do it the right way will increase
- you will expose yourself to negativity
- ultimately wonder if you can do it at all
The second you start second guessing yourself or wonder if you can do this, your brain will look for ways to get out of doing it.
It’s what our survival instinct does. Our brains are always looking for ways to get us out of doing things that we may not see as a great thing. And you questioning what you are doing is telling your brain it isn’t such a great thing anymore.
That’s why so many people aren’t successful at the change they want to make. It’s because they haven’t changed who they are around and they talk to about it with people who de-motivate them.
Talk to Certain People About Certain Things
It doesn’t mean you need to stop talking to family and friends.
It just means maybe you don’t talk to them about THAT. Because they don’t always see things the way you do. It doesn’t make you wrong, it just means we all have different visions and your vision doesn’t align with theirs right now.
But I promise that will change when you start having results.
Don’t talk about the changes you want to make with them. Talk about it with someone else who has already been successful at it or is becoming successful at it.
So if you want to lose weight, lower your blood pressure, start a business, etc, find people who have already done it or are doing it.
Because otherwise, you will be exposing yourself to a lot of negativity, and you need to be around people who you can see are having results, because that will give you confidence and motivation to know you are doing the right thing. And this will combat any negativity.
Real Life Example on Why This is Important
I have a friend who was going into business for herself and it was something she was passionate about. And even more, it was something she was incredibly good it and I know she would have been successful.
When she would talk to me, she was super excited, making huge plans, and she said she finally felt like she found her purpose.
And then she told family and friends what she was doing and what her plans were. She was excited when talking to them and expected them to be excited with her.
The hurt she felt when they weren’t excited for her hit her hard. It demotivated her. She lost all passion for the very thing she felt was her purpose, and went back to plans to stay at her job that stressed her out, and wasn’t her passion.
It hurt me to watch it. No amount of support I could give her could counteract her entire network of negativity.
Which is why it is important to find the network of people who are where you want to be. You need a community, because the people in your life are not going to be excited for you until AFTER you are successful. You need the support now.
It’s YOUR Vision
Trent Shelton said it best: “God gave YOU the vision. Why are you expecting others to see it?”.
You can’t expect someone to see what you are wanting to do and be able to support you and be excited for you if they don’t have the vision. Because most of the time, they haven’t done it themselves. So they won’t understand what you are trying to do.
It took me years to realize this.
And why I was trying to support my friend so much was because I was there myself.
The first two years of doing this website, I sabotaged myself at every turn, because I kept trying to talk about it with family and friends.
They were incredibly de-motivating. They asked questions in a way that demeaned everything I was trying to do. The “why would you want to do that” type questions. They rolled their eyes and changed the subject if I wanted to talk about what I was doing.
They wouldn’t help share my stuff (and they still don’t) in order for me to grow.
And it got me thinking if I couldn’t handle my family doing this, how was I going to handle strangers who didn’t agree with what I was saying or would make negative comments?
To be fair, they weren’t trying to do all of that. But they didn’t understand it because they had never done it themselves or known anyone who has done it. So they weren’t sure it would benefit me.
So they couldn’t really find anything encouraging to say or be excited about it because they couldn’t see where I was going with it.
How I Found Support
You know what changed?
I became a part of Facebook groups with people who were doing the things I was doing.
And that’s when I was able to get into the right mindset to change and really do this. To be able to put myself out there and use my stories and education to help people like me.
I stopped talking about it with family and friends and started talking about it with people who were where I wanted to be. It also helped because I could bounce questions off them and they knew the answers because they had been there.
And you know what the most common question is in all of those groups I am apart of? “How do you keep momentum when no one in your life seems to support you doing this?”
This tells you this is very common among family and friends and there is nothing wrong with you!
So if you want to be in the right mindset for something, your very first step should be to find people who have been successful or becoming successful with what you are wanting to do.
Facebook Groups are an amazing place to start for that.
Getting Healthier Example
Have you ever tried to lose weight, get excited about it, and try to talk excitedly to someone who says things like “Food is just food. We are all going to die anyway.”
Are you going to lose weight or get healthier when you talk to people like that?
It is going to completely de-motivate you. It’s going to make you second guess what you are trying to do.
Maybe this person is someone you can do other things with and talk about other things with, but you don’t have to talk about your plans to eat healthier with them. Because they aren’t going to be the best person for that.
Choose Who You Talk to About Things Wisely
Find the people who want what you want, or have what you want, and talk to them about those things.
That way you have a support system.
Your family and friends most times, are NOT going to be good support systems when you are making changes in your life, as you can see from my examples above.
It is good to have the kind of support system who have done it, because if you lose motivation and think you can’t do it, you can look to these people, see they have done it, and know YOU CAN TOO.
It gives you the momentum to get motivation and into the right mindset to make the changes you want to make.
And that, my friends, is the secret behind getting into the right mindset in order to make changes in your life.
You Can Do This
So go find your audience. Go find your right people. They are out there!
Stop talking about it with people who haven’t done it themselves or don’t plan on going there.
You can do this. No matter what it is.
Because it is your story. Not anyone else’s.