When I was growing up in my teen years, I was taught many things in school, but… there was one super important skill I was not taught which I came across on my journey of life….
How to love yourself.
As a result of me not understanding why or not being taught to love myself early on, I fell into many holes and situations.
I would feel lonely all the time, always pleasing people to be liked (even the ones that I didn’t really like), and having low self-esteem because I wasn’t this ideal person or had those kinds of traits people like. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t.
The feeling of being judged because I felt I wasn’t enough… it feels like shit and not knowing what to do about it felt worse.
Because I didn’t know how to love myself, I relied on others to love me and relying solely on others may not be healthy.
Learning to Love Myself
Once I learned how to love myself and change what was on the inside, everything on the outside changed.
Once I began to love myself, the fear of being judged by others disappeared.
I knew that I was enough for me, that I was unique and I didn’t have to please anyone but myself, I put myself first.
The idea is so simple, yet mastering this skill takes time, patience and awareness.
In this article, it feels right to share with you how to be comfortable being you, being the best version of you. To put yourself first and be on this journey of loving yourself.
What is Self-Love?
My experience with self-love is to look after your wellbeing: mentally, spiritually, physically. It’s protecting your energy.
Metaphorically, it’s knowing to fill your own cup first so your cup overflows and that you are about to fill up other people’s cups without yours being empty.
Having set boundaries for what you believe is right, what you believe feels good and bad and never bending those rules for other people.
It’s respecting yourself.
So How Do We Love Ourselves?
There are three simple ways you can learn to love yourself.
1. Treat yourself as if you were someone that means the world to you.
Imagine that you’re loving someone that you really care about. Imagine what you would do with all that energy you give to the ones you love. Imagine loving that someone for all their imperfections, encouraging the someone you love to be the best they can be, to be confident, to accept them for who they are.
Now imagine you treating yourself as if you were that someone, how much more love would you be giving yourself if you treated yourself the same way as if you were to treat the person you love the most.
Many pet owners would take their pets to the vet if they were sick and have their pet take the medicine the vet would prescribe. But when we go to the doctors and the doctors prescribe us with medicine, we don’t take it, we don’t take it on time or we forget. We kind of see how much we don’t care about ourselves compared to caring for others.
2. Understand your Values
Similar to a tree, which requires a strong foundation to grow, we also have our foundation. Your values are the foundation that support your growth, your beliefs and what is important to you.
Our values become our guide on how we behave and act each day. Our internal compass. When we go against our values, a sense of misalignment comes about inside of us, something feels wrong.
So stay true to you and your values.
3. Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You
When you give energy to people or things that don’t add life into yourself, you end up carrying more weight and hinder yourself from moving forward.
Do keep in mind, what once may have helped you move forward in life, may not help you in the next stage.
It’s okay to let go of that, but to know deep in yourself of the people and experiences that have gotten you this far.
Learning to Love Yourself
Learning to love yourself doesn’t have to be hard if you follow these three strategies.
It’s simply knowing who you are, treating yourself kindly, and letting go of the things that don’t add good energy.
Be kind to yourself, because you deserve nothing more.
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